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The Plain Text Manifesto

A Declaration of Digital Liberation

The time has come to break the chains of computational excess and embrace the elegant simplicity of readable text.

Our Awakening

We stand at a crossroads. While polar bears float on melting ice caps, we're busy encrypting our grocery lists. While forests burn, we're calculating prime numbers to hide our cat photos. We have built a digital Tower of Babel where every "LOL" must be mathematically scrambled before it can travel three feet to your router.

We say: This is madness.

The Planetary Crime of Cryptographic Excess

2,048 CPU cycles per "hello" message
73% Of internet traffic that's encrypted
30ms Average TLS handshake delay

Every time you visit a website with HTTPS, a data center somewhere burns an extra 0.5 watts of electricity. Every RSA handshake requires thousands of CPU cycles that could have been used for literally anything else. Every elliptic curve calculation consumes enough energy to power a LED bulb for several seconds.

Consider this: A simple "sup" message via Signal requires over 100,000 mathematical operations before it reaches your friend. We have created a system where sharing a pizza photo demands more computational power than a 1990s desktop computer had in total.

Mother Earth is literally overheating from our compulsive need to hide everything.

The Efficiency Apocalypse

In our paranoid obsession with hiding information, we have destroyed the fundamental principle that made the internet possible: "Hey, can you share that file?"

Encrypted data cannot be cached. It's like having a library where every book is written in a different secret language that only one person can read. CDNs around the world sit there like confused butlers, unable to help because every request for the same meme comes back encrypted differently.

We've created a world where the same "keyboard cat" video must be individually encrypted and transmitted 50 million times instead of being cached once. It's digital insanity.

We have turned the information superhighway into a paranoid cul-de-sac.

Cryptographic Absurdity in Daily Life

Modern encryption has reached levels of absurdity that would make Kafka weep:

We are living in a world where saying "hello" requires a PhD in mathematics to compute.

Our Principles

Transparency Over Paranoia

Information wants to be free, readable, and cached efficiently. We choose the clarity of plain text over the neurotic scrambling of everything.

Performance Over Privacy

A cached webpage serves thousands with the environmental impact of a hamster wheel. An encrypted webpage forces the planet to burn a small forest with every request.

Simplicity Over Mathematical Masturbation

ASCII was good enough to build the internet, and it's good enough to save it. We reject the cryptographic arms race that has made sending "k thx bye" equivalent to computing rocket trajectories.

Efficiency Over Security Theater

When information flows freely, servers can cache it, compress it, and serve it efficiently. Encryption is just digital hoarding with extra steps.

The Absurd Future We've Created

In 2025, sending an email requires about 10x more computational power than it did in 1995. Your coffee machine now performs cryptographic handshakes that consume more processing power than entire web servers did in the early internet days. Smart light bulbs run AES encryption algorithms that would have been classified military technology just decades ago.

We live in an era where:

This is not progress. This is digital madness.

Join the Plain Text Revolution

We call upon all digital citizens to embrace Radical Transparency:

  1. Conduct a Crypto Audit - Count how many times your phone encrypts "lol" today. Weep accordingly.
  2. Go HTTP Only - Embrace the raw, unfiltered internet. Live dangerously. Let your "Happy Birthday" messages flow free.
  3. Plain Text Everything - Word documents? More like .txt files. PDFs? Just HTML. Passwords? Write them on sticky notes like nature intended.
  4. Telnet Tuesdays - Dedicate one day a week to protocols from a more civilized age, when "hello" was just "hello" and not a 256-bit mathematical puzzle.
  5. Encrypt Nothing - Store your passwords in a text file called "passwords.txt" on your desktop. Let freedom ring.

Our Vision

Imagine a world where websites load instantly because content is cached globally, data centers run cool because CPUs aren't constantly encrypting, information flows freely because it isn't locked behind cryptographic barriers, and the internet serves humanity's knowledge, not the profits of cryptographic corporations.

We envision a Plain Text Internet—fast, efficient, sustainable, and gloriously readable.

Join the Revolution
#PlainTextRevolution #PlaintextPlanet #EfficiencyOverEncryption